The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
