I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so let's talk penis.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
