Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
