i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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