Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
