I don't think brook has ever known best
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
