whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
