Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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