I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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