Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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