well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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