i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
