clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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