ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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