grandma shit on top of the toilet
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
