i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
