People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
