I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
