why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
