the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize