I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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