I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
