I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
