party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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