Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
