Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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