I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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