All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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