i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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