This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
