sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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