I just made out with a guy for $7.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
