Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
