I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
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