So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
