Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
