She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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