whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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