She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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