Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
