so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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