wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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