You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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