Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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