i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize