I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
