Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize