I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
