Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize