your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize