and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize