My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
