I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
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I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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