It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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