Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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