I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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