Only a mothe r could love this liver
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
