can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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